Wednesday, November 17, 2010

Home Depot Is Dangerous

Having been really frustrated the other night over having to finish a 10 page essay that I only had a few paragraphs done I got a little rough with my light switch. The light switch I have in my room is the dimming kind where you push in the knob to turn it on and off. I pushed it and fell back onto the bed so I could start working on my essay. The light didn't go on (meaning i had to get back up off my bed that is on the floor.) I used to be able to turn off the light with my foot but since I couldn't reach it I shot up and with the heel of my hand slammed my fist into the switch. Not only did I break the switch plate but I burned out the light. I held off on screaming and pulling out my hair so I could call mom and ask her to bring me some regular light bulbs. The new spirally save you a million dollars a year light bulbs don't work with my light fixture.

I informed mom when she handed me the light bulbs that I would need a new switch plate and she told me I needed to got to Home Depot. For those of you who don't know what Home Depot is it's a hardware store chain. There was only one small problem, like my grandmother once we go in we don't want to come out.

I drove to the Home Depot that was nearest to my house after classes and pulled my self out of the car. I had done something to my legs to make them really sore and achy for some reason and I had made the mistake of wearing my clogs that added two inches to my height and hurt when I had to walk long distances. I had managed to park relatively close to the main entrance.

When I entered the store I was greeted by the sight of plastic Christmas trees that had the lights already attached. Like a moth to the flame I walked straight towards the sparkling wonders. I stood there looking at the snow globes displayed underneath the trees, my childhood fascination with snow globes returning once again. I snapped out of my daze by my realization I was having a conversation with myself under my breath.

I moved on looking for switch plates and I ended up walking to the opposite end of the store and back on my hunt. When I found what I was looking for I took my time figuring exactly which one I wanted. I ended up picking the unbreakable nylon switch plate and laugh chuckled at the irony.

As I was heading to the checkout counter I saw the shovels. I rushed over to them and started to look them over as I talked to myself. There is this running joke between mom and I about shovels. When I was twelve and had a bigger room upstairs I was given the task of cleaning my room. Annoyed by this after about an hour I grabbed the snow shovel after I swept everything into a pile in the center of the room and I started to shovel everything into a banana box. Mom thought this was funny and the Cleaning Shovel was born.

Our orange shovel was on it's last legs and mom didn't like the blue curvy shovel so I decided to buy a new one. Then I saw the windshield wiper fluid with antifreeze. Seeing as how it's getting close to winter I grabbed a bottle. So I ended up buying a shovel and antifreeze in addition to a switch plate. I have way to much fun in Home Depot.

Also I have concluded I must marry a lumber jack or a carpenter because I love the smell of lumber.

1 comment:

  1. would have been so funny if you forgot the light switch